*Riding Fences At Serenity Ranch With Horses*
By: Warlord
26 October 2013

We've had a LONG LONG day today.. however it WAS filled with Rubies, so THAT was good at least...

For some reason the cooler weather has the horses feeling their "Oat-i-os"... and Leslie and I NEEDED to check the fencing for grounds in the Hot-Tape, and at this point it is just too danged far to WALK all the way.... Our fences just seem to go ON AND ON AND ON AND ON FOREVER... so we kinda HAVE to saddle up the horses and ride...

...Except that the weather is much cooler now, and so the Horses aren't too Hot and Sweaty to show their BUTTS... so the horses decided that *THEY* wanted to be WILD Butt-Hol-i-os today....

Bandit decided that *HE* DIDN'T WANT to check fences today, HE wanted to stand up in the top pasture and eat Hay that got dumped on the ground... Just to be Fair (I *AM* Fair about these things!) I double checked the Calender on my iPhone and noted that today WAS NOT marked as "One of the days that what *Bandit* wants, Matters"....

"Sorry Bandit, You're Checking Fences today..."

So then Bandit "copped a 'tude" on me and wanted to act like a Rodeo Horse coming out of the Chute to see if I could stay onboard for the full 5 seconds... Bucking and rearing and hopping and running and doing the sudden stops, etc... (Yawn) I weigh 180 pounds, I KNEW that BANDIT would get tired WAY before *I* got thrown off... We've played THIS Game before... more than once... more than twice even... He lasted about FOUR seconds before he decided that leaping up into the air with 180 pounds, PLUS a big Leather Saddle, Saddle Blanket, and assorted tack, on his back, was a bit more effort than he wanted to try to sustain... Bandit IS a bit Lazy, and I've learned to use that against him to get my way ;)

THEN Bandit decided he didn't want to walk when told to Walk (I'm Impressed! *BANDIT* Found a way to use his Laziness to *his* advantage!!! Score one for Bandit!!!)

However.. I've seen THAT trick before too...
OK, OK... that's more like, Three or Four words... but you get the point... I learned THAT trick from my Sainted Grandmother, and my Sainted Mother, Except that Mimi and Grandma used to make *ME* go out and GET MY OWN switch so they could MAKE *ME* MOVE! But it works on Horses just as well as it works on willful boys... and at least *I* brought a switch with me today so that Bandit didn't have to go get a switch himself ;)

THEN Bandit came up with the BRAND NEW, NEVER THOUGHT-OF BY A HORSE BEFORE Idea of: "just Wiping me off his back by rubbing me against a tree or two out in the Wooded sections"... (Yawn, Again) ...How does that old country song go? "This Aaain't my Fiiiirst Ro-deo..."
See, EVERY TIME a Horse thinks up one of these ideas, He REALLY Thinks that it's the first time you've EVER seen his "Brilliant New Trick" before... They REALLY forget that they try the EXACT SAME TRICKS, EVERY SINGLE TIME... That's why your college classes are noticeably short on "Student Horses"....

Bandit's little Horse Brain Also forgets that the puny Hairless Monkey on his back has two thick Reins connected to Bandit's MOUTH in those two Monkey Hands (with Opposable Thumbs), so the puny Hairless Monkey (Uhhh, that would be, "*ME*") just Jerked Bandit's head to the LEFT, SHARPLY, as we passed close by the NEXT tree... having his thick skull smacked into a tree made Bandit decide that the Hairless Monkey just was NOT going to be ANY fun today...

Having "Tested Me", and getting his @$$ KICKED at every turn, Bandit decided that once again I AM HIS BESTEST BUDDY IN THE WHOLE WORLD, AND HE LOVES ME MORE THAN LIFE ITSELF, AND THAT *I* AM THE GREATEST THING EVER SINCE GOD INVENTED OATS!!! (Hey, I don't make "The Horse Rules", that's just the way horses think... WHEN they bother to think at all)... and so Bandit straightened right up and acted like the Perfect Horse, that he CAN be when he WANTS to be (for a change)...

Frosty TRIED to give Leslie a Hard time, Including trying to BITE HER several times!!!! ...But Leslie doesn't take ANY crap from Horses (I Kid You Not: THEY FEAR HER!!)... So THAT effort was VERY short lived, and Frosty straightened "RIGHT-THE-HAIL-UP!"... As in: "YES MA'AM! NO MA'AM. WHATEVER YOU SAY MA'AM!!!!

...well, Frosty "Straightened up" until later, when Autumn was Riding Frosty and Frosty caught Autumn not paying attention and dumped Autumn off... which hurt Autumn's pride more than anything else, because Autumn was daydreaming about her Favorite "VIRTUAL REALITY" Video Game, Or something else that must have been terribly more important than BEING ON THE BACK OF AN ANIMAL THAT WEIGHS ALMOST A TON... So Autumn was Daydreaming about "Virtual Reality" instead of PAYING ATTENTION TO WHAT SHE WAS DOING HERE IN "ACTUAL REALITY".... She KNOWS better!!!
Thankfully, all she got from the incident was a "Reminder" to keep her mind on what she's doing when she's around, or ON, horses...

ALL TOGETHER NOW, Let's chant "The Main Rule To Always Remember Around Horses": "HORSES DO WHATEVER GOES THROUGH THEIR LITTLE HORSE BRAINS AT THAT PARTICULAR MOMENT IN TIME!" If you forget that rule, even for an INSTANT, you WILL Get Hurt!!!!

We FINALLY got the fences Checked though....

The following Videos aren't "Embedded" like I normally do them, because one of them is upwards of 14 Megs, so by linking them the way I have below, you have the option of watching by clicking the "Video" Icon... or not... And then my Tired butt is going to BED.. LONG day tomorrow too (But at least it'll have Rubies in IT too, so at least it'll be fun ;)


(Approx. 2.5 megs)
Leslie and Frosty


(Approx. 5 megs)
War Getting Bandit's Attention With A Switch

The Audio is low, but what I said (That Leslie is laughing about) was: "I don't know why he's wanting to be an @$$hole today... Are we going to start the leaping and jumping around and stuff? Is THAT what we're going to do??? Because *I'm* Willing... I'm Willing and ABLE... OK (Big Smile to Leslie over my Shoulder)... Let's Do This Thing Big Boy and go ahead and get it over with" ;)


(Approx. 14.5 megs)
War and Bandit Riding Fence

For some reason, Me Riding Bandit Scares the CRAP out of Leslie... Bandit likes to get a little Wild sometimes and show his butt... and *I* like to LET HIM get a little wild and show his butt sometimes! There's just something about being on a Strong Horse's back, running FLAT OUT WIDE OPEN, JUMPING Obstacles, that makes you feel ALIVE!!!! But it makes Leslie feel like she's about to die from a heart attack, so I try to keep it to a minimum... that's why she's constantly behind me saying things like: "OK, Watch out now, he may want to trot uphill a little bit... So just be ready for it..." (YES MOMMY!!! ;) ...She worries WAY too much ;) I mean, Seriously, Do I LOOK like I've never ridden a Horse (or two, or a hundred) before? I know, I Know, She loves me, and she worries about me... it just makes *me* feel bad that it worries HER so much that she can't just RELAX and ENJOY RIDING (Which is her [Second] Favorite thing to do in the whole world!)

Near the Beginning of the Video, When Bandit decides to Run a little Bit to Jump a Log (Hard to see due to the Video Compression), Leslie says, "He LIKES to test you!" the Audio is (Again) low, but what I said was, "That's OK, I LIKE to be Tested!"

Toward the end of the Video you hear Leslie say "Awwwww.. OK...." because when she see's me lean over and whisper in Bandit's ear "Time for a RUN", she KNOWS we're about to RUN... Except Bandit was already too tired to do much more than a fast canter at that point... wussy Horse ;)

This Article Was Proudly Formatted For The AlphaRubicon Website By: Warlord

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