*Fatherhood*
By: Warlord
27 June 2014

Welcome into the Club of Fatherhood! EVERYTHING changes now! That tiny new life is TOTALLY DEPENDENT on "YOU" for every bite, every stitch of clothing, every stick of shelter, and every scrap of knowledge YOU can teach him!

...And trust me, if YOU don't teach him, the "State" has 7 hours a day, 5 days a week, to teach him FOR YOU... except they'll teach him what THEY want him to know, and how THEY want him to think... It's up to YOU to teach Him how to be FREE, to teach him the TRUTH behind the Sound-bytes of "Learning" they give him at school..

You've got the biggest responsibility OF YOUR LIFE now, and it's FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE...

... Wait until THAT REALLY sinks in (Takes a few weeks)... it's one of those "OH - MY - GOD" Moments...

But YOU ARE UP TO THE TASK!!!!! YOU Know It, WE Know It!

Give our best to your wife... she's been through a LOT... Remember to tell her how beautiful she is, Remember the 24/7/365.242127 RESPONSIBILITY (And yes, "Burden") she will have to deal with for the rest of HER life too! It's "different" for Women, Mentally, AND physically.... she'll need ALL the reassurance from YOU that you can POSSIBLY give her!!!

Put yourself in HER shoes for just a minute... You've had your body warped ALL out of shape, and been through HORRIBLE Pain... you have "Bonded" with your child mentally, THAT is something that CAN NOT be broken... she has to think about "Feedings" and "Protecting him" and "Changing Diapers" and, and, and... While she's going through ALL OF THAT (and MUCH MUCH MORE) she is ALSO thinking "I'm not as sexy as I was, I'm Fat, my emotions are all over the map... what if he leaves me? How would I take care of this child MYSELF (Because SHE WOULD!), He can't POSSIBLY think I'm sexy now, he'll start looking at other women..." and on and on and on... Meanwhile she's also dealing with Family, and Friends, and "Advice", and "Never Feeling like she REALLY knows exactly what to do, and "OH NO, IS HE SICK!?!?!?"...

She'll have to deal with ATTENTION OVERLOAD, and then SUDDENLY, ALL of that attention just kinda STOPS abruptly... all of the support just kinda "Stops", and she'll feel left alone to "Figure it out for herself", and "Worry about your relationship by herself"

So, PLEASE, If you don't EVER listen to another piece of (Unasked-For) Advice I give you, PLEASE listen to THIS Piece of Advice! "Reassure her"! Let her know that SHE has given YOU BOTH a "Common, Life-long, Goal that you WILL work on, TOGETHER", TELL HER "I AM NOT GOING ANYWHERE!!!" Don't just assume she knows that already, *YOU* TELL HER!! And TELL HER OFTEN!!!!! She NEEDS to hear it!

*YOU* become a "Baby Diaper Changing EXPERT"!!! Trust me, when that baby cries, and YOU get up at 2AM to figure out "What's wrong", and LET HER SLEEP... SHE WILL LOVE YOU MORE FOR IT!!! You have to PROVE that you are just as COMMITTED to this child as SHE IS! Don't leave HER with the Entire Burden! She may have time off work, and so it's easy to think "This is her job now while *I* work to pay the bills", .... Not to be too crude here bro, but YOU didn't just carry a BOWLING BALL around inside your guts for 9 months, and then push it out of an orifice the size of a Garden Hose! Child Birth is USUALLY much more traumatic, physically, than a head-on Car Crash! If she'd been in a head-on collision, you'd EXPECT it to take MONTHS for her to recover, and this is NO DIFFERENT! She NEEDS time to recover...

And we won't even get into the Hormones being DUMPED into her system, and the Mental Aspects of everything she's been through...

Take my Advice, LET HER REST! LET HER RECOVER... CHANGE DIAPERS, GET UP AND DO THE FEEDINGS... I used to have carry Alec Around, Pacing the floors while bouncing her, ALL NIGHT when she had Colic, or an upset stomach, while she CRIED and SCREAMED, RIGHT INTO MY EARS (The kind of CONSTANT screaming that puts your teeth on edge, and makes you want to lift your face to sky and SCREAM "SHUT UP!!! PLEASE GOD JUST SHUT UP!!!!") Not to make light of it, but to paraphrase a comedian, "I don't Support people that have hospitalized a baby with 'Shaken Baby Syndrome', BUT I CAN UNDERSTAND IT!!! I wouldn't want to be the deciding member on a jury or anything!!!!!"...

And THIS IS IMPORTANT: Sometimes everything piles up on you, and everything is overwhelming, and you're BEYOND EXHAUSTED, and the baby is SICK and screaming in that pitch nature DESIGNED to crawl RIGHT UP YOUR SPINE (to get your attention), and EVERYTHING SUDDENLY just becomes TOO MUCH TO HANDLE!!!!! And WHEN THAT HAPPENS (And IT WILL), you just have to lay them down in their crib, and walk away for a few minutes, and get your head back together!!!!...

Then go back in, and pick the baby back up, and do your best to figure out "What seems to help".... It's different for EVERY child.. Alec had to be Carried and "Bounced" gently while I walked FOR HOURS... Brandy had to be DRIVEN around and around the block, for HOURS... It's no fun FOR YOU, but if a baby is suffering from the COMMON baby ailments, you just have to remember that "He's suffering worse than YOU are, and he has NO WAY to get help, or communicate his discomfort, except "To Cry, and/or SCREAM"... which goes back to what I said at the beginning of this post: "He's TOTALLY Dependent on YOU for EVERYTHING"

I know, I know..."WHY would I take advice from a Guy on the Internet named 'WARLORD'????" ...Trust me My Brother, I am a CARD CARRYING, MULTIPLE ENTRY, MEMBER of the "Fatherhood Club", AND of the "GrandFather-Hood Club!!!!" I am a DUES PAYING ALUMNI MEMBER with MULTIPLE DEGREES in BOTH Subjects!!! ;)

Again, "Trust me"... HELP WITH THE BABY ALL YOU CAN (It'll make you a MUCH better Father Later on!!)!! TELL YOUR WIFE SHE'S BEAUTIFUL, TELL HER YOU LOVE HER, and make sure you are STILL DOING IT A YEAR FROM NOW!!!!

You got this Bro! You make your mistakes with your first one, by the second one, you're a pro! Third forth and 5th and you breeze through it (Yeah, Right! NOT!)... And you suddenly just become THE PERFECT GRANDFATHER someday (Which WILL happen MUCH sooner than you BELIEVE!)...

CONGRATS! TELL YOUR WIFE SHE'S BEAUTIFUL, AND YOU LOVE HER MORE NOW THAN EVER!

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