*Datrex Emergency Rations*
When there’s nothing left to eat
By: GurkhaMan
29 September 2009

The cruise ship has gone down; there is nary another boat on the ocean to be seen. You and extremely beautifully Mrs. You are alone, out of petrol for the life boat and the caviar, crackers and champagne are all gone, what do you do to feed yourselves? Oh look dear there in the corner a small box with markings FOOD RATIONS, let’s open it and feast. As our hero and heroine open the box wanting to devour the delectable contents there is a scream in the back of the boat. No not the dreaded DATREX, yep those indescribable blue 3600 kcals multi purpose emergency rations are right there. Now what, well open one up and see if we can eat it, can you imagine how one must feel to get into this stuff.

Well here I am, I was looking for something in the way of food to put into my BOB at work. I have 38 miles to hoof it to get home under the worst case scenarios from work. I can drive it 38 min on the freeway, or 45 min on the old two lane road. But walking that might take 1.5 to 3 days to get there. I have my trusty BOB at work and it has everything I can think of except food. So in my searching I see there are MRE’s and Mountain House food packets and Datrex Emergency Rations for sale. Ok further research is needed here, I know what MRE’s are and how they taste from past experiences, Mountain House now that’s good stuff, used them in my hiking days. But Datrex, never heard of them or know anyone who has tried them. I know a couple of old Force Recon’s that I could try these on, wonder what they would do to me for that? Anyway it says right on the covering APPROVED BY: US Coast Guard and gives a number it also says “Other Approvals Pending”. I really hate it when they say that, it like we’re waiting for the others to eat them and get back to us if they can. These things are cool says right here that it has 18 bars of compressed concentrated food, now that just gets my stomach all in a twitter. That means each bar is 200 kcal’s, I thinks it means calories. Got to love the instructions though; if you’re in a Lifeboat “Eat one bar every 6 hours per person eat in small pieces – chew well”. Let me see here 1bar/6hrs/4perday/200kcal/bar=800 kcals per day. OOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHSSSSSSSSS@@@@@@@@####$$$$$$$$$$$$$$. Don’t know about you but 800 kcals per day will make me really hungry. The extremely beautifully Mrs. You could be in for a problem I’m here to tell you now. Also for Other emergencies on “LAND: Eat on bar every 4 hours per person eat in small pieces – chew well”. Again I’m still hungry after my land rations. Oh look on the side more instructions, “SAVE DRINKING WATER, Do not drink water during first 24 hours unless sick, injured, or in desert conditions. After first 24 hours, drink no more that 500 ml (1/2 liter, approx. 16 oz.) per day. When supply is nearly exhausted, no more than 1/10 liter per day”. I don’t care about the food right now; I’m dying of thirst just reading this stuff. On the other side it says “This ration to be replaced not later than 5 years from production date or according to governing administration”. Don’t even want to know anything about the governing administration at all. On the back is the nutritional information:

Calories (838) kj 200 cal. TOTAL FAT (26%) 10 gm.
Protein (7%) 3 gm. SAT. F/A (21%) 2 gm.
Carbohydrate (55%) 21 gm. Mono-Unsat. F/A (65%) 7 gm.
Sodium 0.75 mg. Poly-Unsat. F/A (14%) 1 gm.
Cholestrerol 0.375 mg.

Ingredients: Wheat Flour, Vegetable Shortening, Cane Sugar, Water, Coconut, and Salt.

Hey the good thing is that they are out of Kinder, Louisiana, know some good people down there.

Mfg. Date: 05-09-8
Exp. Date: 05-14
Lot No. L329

I know this because I purchased 2 of these for personal consumption or testing on friends as the case may be. So I throw one in the BOB, sure this stuff will keep me alive for my 3 day trek says so right on the label. RIGHT! Ok so I open one of these at work, gota test it, FNV. As I open the package and put my nose in the aroma of coconut assaults my nostrils. Taking me off to far away pacific island that I have been to before beautiful Tahitian women swaying to and fro in the gentle breeze, eyes open and realize where you’re at and what your smelling fool. Take out one of the 18 individual wrapped servings looking it over, pretty solid about twice as thick as my Blackberry battery but close to its size. But now it breaks into small pieces, now I have to use a blade to open the package to take out a piece to try and eat. Not bad, really not bad, dry but they are right it does not make you want to drink while or after eating this bar (read the part about SAVE DRINKING WATER again here). I give some individual wrapped servings to my co workers to get their opinion after telling them I’m trying out a new energy bar (insert chuckle here). They all tell me that there ok to eat, kind strange coming from bike riders and tree huggers, but in all it was not an unpleasant experience.

But in passing here if you look at these as energy bars and only as that, with a 5 year shelf life it might not be so bad. I’ve had them on trips and at work if I forgot to eat breakfast, remember I had 18 to use up. At $7.35/18=$0.41 each now that does make some sense if you’re not in a lifeboat or you can give these to some sheeple that has nothing and are passing you by, charity you know.

Just as a side note I do have 5 days worth of Mountain House food here at the office.

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